Grumble, Grumble, Grrrrr.....

Today I am going to rant and rave and maybe throw a little rage in there.....

To start, my little girl really is turning out to be a brat and I am unsure of how to counter act this attitude that she has. Most people say that she got it from me and to those people ( most of whom are older and haven't been around much. ) You don't know me. You haven't been around my whole life to know anything about me. You mostly know only the hear say from other people.
So Lucy has become Miss Independent. I am okay with that! It's the hitting and screaming when she doesn't get her way and the un-willingness to do anything I want her to do. AND that she just doesn't understand that she can't be crazy with Jaxon. She tries so hard to help me out, and I am trying to let her but she has got to run out of energy at some point and calm down.

Low points of my day with Lucy:
- Bedtime
- Potty Training
- Eating real food and not junk food
- Torturing Jaxon by smothering him with all her glorious Lucy-ness!
She is very good at kisses and hugs though. Just thought I would add that in!

So today we went to Grandma Linda's school and got our pictures taken. It's nice to be able to go and have that done and feel like I accomplished something for the day. Kaden, Lucy, Jaxon and myself were all up showered and ready to go by 7:30 am today. For those of you who have 3 or more kids you know how hard it is to get up and get everyone going. Now of course before we are out the door Lucy would just have to puke all over her cute white shirt and Jaxon would have to have a major blow out in his diaper....BUT WE WERE UP AND READY TO GO! and that's my point. So we we all got to have our pictures taken today and I think they will turn out pretty dang cute. We were in Dark blue, grey and white. I hope they will be classy looking. I will try to post them when we get them back in a couple of weeks!

So as I sit here typing I lose all my thoughts on what I want to say. I begin to ramble and then I become side tracked completely and what I end up writing is not what I intended to write in the first place.

Something I learned while Jaxon was in the NICU, is to be Great full for what I have! I have a beautiful baby boy that just by looking at him you would never know that something is wrong with him. He looks like a normal, healthy little boy. I am not sure why God has given me this little boy with this particular problem. All I know is that I love him and I will do my very best to be the best mom that I can be to him. Every once in a while I look back and try to get angry over what happened. For some odd reason I want to pull out the WHY ME? card. I don't think that I ever really had all those Why me? Why Jaxon? Why now? feelings. I have always felt that it is what it is and I can't change so just accept it and let's move on. Jaxon's ordeal has been one of the hardest and most challenging things in my life. I am learning to be a whole new person. I know that the Lord gave me this child for a reason and that I am going through all that I am for a reason ( if anyone knows what it is that I am suppose to be learning... Please help a momma out ) I just wish I knew what it is that he wants me to learn so that I can start working on it and maybe lighten my load a little. It's funny how you have children and being a parent means to raise these kids to be good adults, to teach them values and instill good morals. Yet the whole time you are "raising" your kids in reality they are also "raising" you!
I couldn't ask to be raised by better kids. Through all the tough times, I wouldn't trade em for the world. My tough little Jaxon ( my heartman) My softy Kaden and my Princess Lucy are teaching me to be a better mommy, a better friend and a better person in general.
Thank you to my wonderful babies, I am learning more and more from you each day! Thanks for being such wonderful teachers and for being patient with mommy! I love you all!

NOW, Does someone have a school for my Husband?