Oh the joys of mother hood...

I guess writing every couple of days isn't so bad?!? I must admit that I am a terrible writer! I have no journalistic abilities in my body, not one bone!

To catch you all up:

Saturday we had a YARD SALE! We posted and add on KSL.com and put Flyer's up on the corners of Geneva Rd. We set David and Nancy's yard up and started selling our little hearts out.
It was actually a pretty good day, it wasn't too hot and we had plenty of shade ( that we didn't use ).
The highlights of the sale were when the table filled with all of mom's glass dishes and what nots tipped over and broke. I watched it tip and man it was going in slow motion. Crazy that I didn't run over and try to catch it. Whoops!
The best of the best part of the day was when this couple came to look around and I was sitting at my station manning the money box... Okay so here is their conversation:

Man looking at the table filled with Kitchen items, picks up an old juicer and asks " could I plug this in to make sure that it's still in working condition? "

Me: " of course, there is a plug right here that you could use."

Man: "thanks, it's working. " " that's fabulous, I'll take it."

Woman : " What the hell do you want a juicer for? " " You don't even eat fruits and Vegetables! "

Man: " I need to start. " " I am going to use it to help me drop a few pounds! "

Woman: " Ya, what are you going to do? Stick a burrito in it? "

Me: trying really hard not to laugh hysterically at the woman's comment. You see this couple both overweight by at minimum 100lbs and short at that. It was seriously like a miniature Jerry Springer show. I just wish that I had a tub of popcorn and the rest of my family watching them with me.
But in all seriousness the Man was a good sport. He did in fact buy the juicer and I tried to encourage him with my Father in Laws story of weight loss. WAY TO GO OLD MAN!

Then on Sunday we took it pretty easy! I think after a long day in the sun on Saturday we were all drained and tired.
I did manage to get the kids up and ready for church, a feat that I consider amazing since we got there on time and I did it mostly by myself. I did have a little help from my momma...She is a GREAT baby watcher!
For dinner on Sunday I tasked myself the goal of BBQing on my husbands BBQ. I have only used this thing twice now and once of which I almost set my house on fire!!!
I made a Delicious Teryiaki BBQ Chicken and in the oven I made a FREAKING FANTASTIC Zucchini and Tomato casserole.

Monday was depressing! I missed watching Heros and House season premiers! AND I tore apart my bedroom to organize it a little better.

THIS Morning I woke up to a bed filled with pee! Oh the joys of mother hood. I swear without fail EVERYtime I change the bed and put fresh clean sheets on...someone has to pee in it. I am not sure if I slept through it due it sheer exhaustion or from being pinned in between Lucy and Jaxon and not being able to get out of the bed. So to start off my day...Kid to school and washing the beds again for the second time in 2 days!

Grumble, Grumble, Grrrrr.....

Today I am going to rant and rave and maybe throw a little rage in there.....

To start, my little girl really is turning out to be a brat and I am unsure of how to counter act this attitude that she has. Most people say that she got it from me and to those people ( most of whom are older and haven't been around much. ) You don't know me. You haven't been around my whole life to know anything about me. You mostly know only the hear say from other people.
So Lucy has become Miss Independent. I am okay with that! It's the hitting and screaming when she doesn't get her way and the un-willingness to do anything I want her to do. AND that she just doesn't understand that she can't be crazy with Jaxon. She tries so hard to help me out, and I am trying to let her but she has got to run out of energy at some point and calm down.

Low points of my day with Lucy:
- Bedtime
- Potty Training
- Eating real food and not junk food
- Torturing Jaxon by smothering him with all her glorious Lucy-ness!
She is very good at kisses and hugs though. Just thought I would add that in!

So today we went to Grandma Linda's school and got our pictures taken. It's nice to be able to go and have that done and feel like I accomplished something for the day. Kaden, Lucy, Jaxon and myself were all up showered and ready to go by 7:30 am today. For those of you who have 3 or more kids you know how hard it is to get up and get everyone going. Now of course before we are out the door Lucy would just have to puke all over her cute white shirt and Jaxon would have to have a major blow out in his diaper....BUT WE WERE UP AND READY TO GO! and that's my point. So we we all got to have our pictures taken today and I think they will turn out pretty dang cute. We were in Dark blue, grey and white. I hope they will be classy looking. I will try to post them when we get them back in a couple of weeks!

So as I sit here typing I lose all my thoughts on what I want to say. I begin to ramble and then I become side tracked completely and what I end up writing is not what I intended to write in the first place.

Something I learned while Jaxon was in the NICU, is to be Great full for what I have! I have a beautiful baby boy that just by looking at him you would never know that something is wrong with him. He looks like a normal, healthy little boy. I am not sure why God has given me this little boy with this particular problem. All I know is that I love him and I will do my very best to be the best mom that I can be to him. Every once in a while I look back and try to get angry over what happened. For some odd reason I want to pull out the WHY ME? card. I don't think that I ever really had all those Why me? Why Jaxon? Why now? feelings. I have always felt that it is what it is and I can't change so just accept it and let's move on. Jaxon's ordeal has been one of the hardest and most challenging things in my life. I am learning to be a whole new person. I know that the Lord gave me this child for a reason and that I am going through all that I am for a reason ( if anyone knows what it is that I am suppose to be learning... Please help a momma out ) I just wish I knew what it is that he wants me to learn so that I can start working on it and maybe lighten my load a little. It's funny how you have children and being a parent means to raise these kids to be good adults, to teach them values and instill good morals. Yet the whole time you are "raising" your kids in reality they are also "raising" you!
I couldn't ask to be raised by better kids. Through all the tough times, I wouldn't trade em for the world. My tough little Jaxon ( my heartman) My softy Kaden and my Princess Lucy are teaching me to be a better mommy, a better friend and a better person in general.
Thank you to my wonderful babies, I am learning more and more from you each day! Thanks for being such wonderful teachers and for being patient with mommy! I love you all!

NOW, Does someone have a school for my Husband?

Oh what a day....Late one evening....

Okay so this last weekend wasn't very eventful for our little family. On Sunday we took our kids over to see Grandpa Kirk and Grandma Linda and had dinner there as well.
When Jake and I first got together and through the first years of our marriage we went to the Anderson's house (either Kirk and Linda's or Grandma Barbara and Grandpa Gail's ) dang near almost every Sunday. Not to mention that if it was someones birthday during that month then you went for a Sunday/birthday dinner and when you have a pretty decent sized family then you are always going to dinner.
Well since we moved to Herriman and now back to Provo, we haven't gone over for Sunday dinners like we used to. You can feel the disconnection of family when you get back together, it's like you have a million things to talk about cause you haven't seen anyone for quite a while but at the same time you just sit there and watch the kids ( or kids playing the Wii in our case ) and every once in a while you through in a joke or a comment.
It seems like every time I get together with family no matter which side, the kids have grown a foot or two and are changing in every little way. Now since I don't see them all that often I notice the small changes where as to the parents they are normal and don't seem that odd.
Why is it that when you live in the same state and in many cases the same city you are too busy to make time for your family? We are told all the time that family is the most important thing that we can have and that we should cherish it. Well then why are we wasting our time doing meaning less things and not savoring every moment that we have with our family.
I want my family to know that I love them, even though I am guilty of this myself! I want to be better at turning the TV off and playing with my kids and going to the park, going to movies as a family. Better yet at remembering to have Family Home Evening each week and not putting it off for something else that is less meaningful to my children.
Anyways that was my Sunday....

Monday however was a whole other story. As usual I get up to my alarm clock and get things together for Kaden to get up and get ready for school. For those who know Kaden, you know how big he is compared to me. Well each morning when I wake him up I pull the covers off and twist his legs around off the bed and pull his body up so that he is in a sitting position and then I give him a hug as I send him off to the shower. SO THIS MORNING, I am doing the usual only when Kaden is in the sitting position he turns his head towards me and starts yelling " MOM, I can't open my eyes. Someone glued them together and I can't see! "
This isn't exactly how I wanted to spend the day, but I am a mother and it's what I do.
So I tell him to get in the shower and to wash his face off with a warm wash cloth ( Mistake #1 )
I call the doctor and make him an appointment to be seen at 10:30 and then I call him in sick to school ( Mistake #2 ).
Jake hasn't been feeling all the well so I make him an appointment as well and send them off to find out whats wrong with them ( as if someone could actually diagnose what's really wrong with them in just an hour! :)
Kaden comes home with eye drops but the doctor said that because he had cleaned his eyes out so very well in the shower that the only thing he could see was that they where red. Do you see how I shouldn't have had him clean them out so well? Well then he comes home and continues to torture his little sister and in some cases she tortured him all day long when he could have spent the rest of the day at school, this is where mistake #2 comes in.
Oh the Joys of being a mother!?!?

And finally to end the day, my significant other ditches me for California with his little brother.
They are going out there to work for a bit, it's good on one hand and yet frustrating on the other.
So here I am with 3 kids, one with pink eye... one that is a diva/demon child and one that requires more of me then I have to give sometimes, all by myself.

Tuesday, Today was a fairly routine day. We got up and got Kaden off to school as normal. No tears this morning which is good, although he did have watery eyes from his eye drops.
Lucy and I spent the day cleaning the living room and entertaining Jaxon as much as possible.
Has anyone ever tried really hard to entertain a 3 month old? Lucy is the queen of trying. I must admit for all the times that she does try she gets the persistence award! I think that after 10 times and not getting the smile or cooing that I wanted I would give up. But little Jaxon is a trooper, he puts up with all the arm pining, Binky stuffing, slobbery kisses, leg pulling, in your face talking and attempts to be the momma that Lucy condemns him too.

Now to do homework...WHAT? Homework, is this for me or for the kid? I swear, now days kids come home with homework that the parents end up doing or being utterly confused by and not to mention all the fundraisers.
Whose the brilliant genius that thinks its such a great idea to do fundraisers that require the kids to sell something? What about doing a Walk a Thon? We've done these in the past and they are fabulous. The best part about them is that they get the kids out exercising and the school still makes money. OR how about a READ a Thon? This is for school right? We want our children reading right? Why is it that the schools can't come up with something better then to sell wrapping paper or chocolates?

So these are the days of my life...... more rambling and musings of mine to come tomorrow.

Walk for Healing Hearts

Today started off great! Our family went to the Walk for Healing Hearts. It's a simple 1 mile walk around a little park in Provo, UT. There where tons of people there walking for their loved ones that either have CHD or died from CHD ( Congenital Heart Defects ).
It was a little over whelming at first to see all these people there and know that each and everyone of them have been affected by someone who has had problems with their heart. Otherwise they wouldn't have been there. We saw many children with little heart stickers on their shirts to show that they are heart affected babies.
It was great to get to meet other people who are going through or who have gone through the same trials that we are going through. To know that we are not alone and that this doesn't have to be such a terrible and painful ordeal for our family to go through.
From this point on our family is dedicated to being at peace with our situation and making the very best out of it that we can.
They say when you life gives you lemons, make lemonade and that's exactly what we plan to do.
So, today was fun. We had a few family members show up. Some of which surprised me. Showing their support for Jaxon was:
Uncle David, Aunt Nancy and Family and dog
Grandpa Kirk and Grandma Linda
Grandma Jeanne

We all walked around ( some ran ) and had a grand ole time. At the end they had a small ceremony where they introduced the families that have lost loved ones young and old and then released butterflies up to heaven to give kisses to their lost angels.

We also took a moment of silence for those are currently at Primary Children's Hospital struggling to survive. Speaking of there where a few of the nurses from Primary Children's at the walk. It was nice to see them in a different setting other then at the hospital.
After all that was done we gathered around and they drew names for various prizes.

I highly encourage any of my friends and family to join that have a child who is dealing with CHD. I really believe that this group is going to be very supportive and uplifting for my family as well as for Jaxon. He might not understand now, but when he is old enough he will enjoy knowing that there are others out there with his same problem!

As for the rest of our day we are simply going to be lazy! This was Jaxon's first real adventure outside of the house and even though he didn't do anything besides sleep in his stroller, he is completely tuckered out and has been asleep since we got home.
I don't think I ever thought about what kind of things will be stressful to him that us is the everyday normal things.
Maybe a movie or something light that won't cause us to work any harder then we have too.
Hey it's the end of summer, no need to do anything stressful or crazy.

So since I last blogged a ton has happened. First of all, Jake and I have moved out of our home in Herriman, UT. We have moved back into my mom's house in Provo.
That was in the end of May. 2 weeks after we moved in I went into Labor with my 3rd baby. He came a little early. I was 35 weeks and 6 days along. Jaxon was born with a heart defect known as Epsteins Anomoly with severe Pulmonary Stenosis. He was in the hospital for 45 days and I promise I counted every last day that he was there. I would say that those days where the worst days of my life... But how could I say such a horrible thing when every day I got to see my beautiful boy, I get to hold him in my arms and tell him that I love him. For that I will always be thankful for him. So as of the 10th of September Jaxon is 3 mos old.
I wanted to share some of my thoughts/days from Jaxon's journal as we went through his Primary Children's Hospital adventure.

~ Friday June 12th,
You are 2 days old today, and you have been so good. Your poor little heart is beating as hard and strong as it can which can be a good thing. But in your case is making you weak and tired. Today we were taking you off the ventilators and putting you on c-pap but you had other plans. sometime around 11am you stopped breathing. I cried, my heart sank when the nurses explained what was happening and why. So for Now, back on the ventilators you go!

~ Sunday June 14th,
Today dear Jaxon boy you are going to have a blessing. It's the day where we are giving you a name and a blessing. You are the first in the family that daddy gets to bless and boy is he nervous. You look so precious. I am not sure why I have been so blessed to have you apart of my life. You opened up your little peepers today and looked up at me with such sad eyes, you made my heart melt into a million pieces. You are such a special gift and I can't wait to take you home and hold you in my arms. I know that you are safe and well taken care of here and that helps me to feel calm about going home.

~ Tuesday June 16th,
The nerves we feel today are almost unbearable. Daddy gave you a blessing before heading down to the cath lab. They are going to balloon your pulmonary valve open to help release some of the pressure. Never in my life have I cried so hard. I am not sure if the blessing was more for mom and dad's piece of mind or for your well being. I think a little of both. While you were in the cath lab, mom and dad sat outside of the hospital on the benches and sobbed. We listened to your theme song ( three little birds by Bob Marley ) over and over again. You are one tough little guy! We will wait for you and with you back at your bedside.

Those are just a few excerpts from Jaxon's journal. I am not very good at writing my feelings down so I hope that you all can understand even in the slightest how I felt watching my baby being poked and tested on a daily basis.

Jaxon is now home and has been for over a month. He is being picked on still but at least it's now by his big sister wanting to hug and kiss him every hour. Kaden and Lucy are starting to recover from Mom and Dad having been gone so much. I think we are almost back to a normal routine.

KADEN, is now in the 2nd grade and already hating school. I can't believe how big he is and that he's really my kid. Am I old enough to have a 7 yr old? Cause I don't feel like I am! Kaden is trying to come into his own and figure out what he likes to do. Right now he loves to ride his bike and he likes to play Nintendo games. He loves swimming. We are thinking of putting him into wrestling and maybe basketball.

LUCY, is a typical 2 yr old who is making mommy's life miserable! She refuses to potty train and just laughs at us when we are frustrated with her over changing a poopy diaper. She is very girly and loves to get into mom's make-up.
Right now her favorite thing in the world is PINK-milk or strawberry milk.

JAXON, is as happy and healthy as an acid reflux, heart defected baby can be! He wakes up happy in the morning and ready to play and then cries all night long. He loves to eat and would probably eat all day long if mommy let him. He is almost 14lbs and growing.
Jaxon is off the oxygen but still requires his heart monitor for now. Someday soon we will be free of all monitors and machines! We find out in Dec. what our next step is!

THE NEXT BIG THING WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TOO... is the walk for Healing Hearts.
www.intermountainhealinghearts.org
We are looking forward to meeting other people with Jaxon's same problem and to add to our healing process. It has been a long road and we are very thankful to be over our first hump.
We hope to see any family and friends there! It's only a mile, a short distance compared to what many have gone through with their "Heart" Adventures!

I am so blessed! I have 3 BEAUTIFUL kids.... My hazel eyed babies! I love them all. My world is more complete with them in it. I live everyday for them and I try to be the best mom that I can be. They continue to test me and I hope that I am meeting their expectations of me.

Today I leave you all with a thought!

WHEN LIFE GETS TO HARD TO STAND...KNEEL! Our Prayers are with you all!