Jaxon's Cardiology visit.

Today we took Jaxon to see his cardiologist. Last time we went it was September and the office we visited was in Orem not to far from where we are. Since then that office has closed and we now have to go to Primary Children's Medical Center. Jake and I have decided that this isn't a big deal as we like to be able to see the nurses and doctors that took care of Jaxon while we where there in the NICU.

IT was a very emotional thing to be walking back into the hospital where Jaxon stayed for such a long time. I felt very anxious. I felt like they where going to tell me that I had to leave my baby there. Not only that but being in a hospital where people are sick scared me to death. I thought for sure that he was going to "catch" something while we were walking throughout the hospital.

So.. first we checked into cardiology and got some paperwork filled out. Then we went on down the way to radiology where we promptly removed Jaxon's clothes (Chubby Buddy) and he was x-rayed.
The nurse was quick and precise with him which was nice considering babies don't like to be messed with.
She took 2 x-rays. The first one Jaxon laid on his back and the second one he was on his side with his arms stretched above his head. The second one was a little harder for him to deal with. But at the same time we had to wake him to even do the x-rays.

From there we went back to cardiology and waited to see Dr. Cowley. The nurse came in and took his blood presure and SATS ( blood oxygen and heart rate ) and measured and weighed him.

THEN, they hooked him up to the EKG machine. That was fun!

They put 13 probes on his chest, hook em up to all these wires and monitored the electrical impulses in his heart for about 30 secs. It quite literally took them longer to hook him up then it took to actually monitor him.

While he was hooked up I was holding his hands so that he wouldn't grab the wires and try to rip them off.

The cardiologists were very impressed with Jaxon's weight gain. They couldn't believe that he is so big and kept asking me what I am feeding him. I told the Doc that I was only nursing him and that he has yet to try any solids and the look on his face was..."Way to go Momma!" He called me a Milk maid or something like that.

Afterwards we went to see our old friends in the NICU. It was VERY nice to see the Nurses and Doctors that took care of Jaxon and know that I wasn't leaving my baby with them. Everyone was so happy to see him doing so well.

Jake and I went to the University's cafeteria and had Tomato wraps with cajun turkey and tomato basil sauce. I promise you that I am addicted to those stupid wraps and my husband could very easily get away with taking me out to eat there for any special day and save himself a ton of $$.

As for Kaden and Lucy all is well. Kaden is working hard at reading and math. He is catching up to where he needs to be. He is finally reading at his own grade level. Lucy is working hard on potty training. We are wanting to put her into pre-school starting in January but she can only go if she's potty trained. We are keeping our fingers crossed that I can get her trained in less then 5 weeks. She's being a little bugger about it.

We had a good Thanksgiving with my family. We are greatful for many things in our lives. Most importantly our little family.

Jaxon at Primary Children's Hospital

Jaxon Levi Anderson
June 10th, 2009
5 lbs 3 oz
21 inches
2:40 am

Jaxon is in the NICU at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center
in Provo, UT.

He is hooked up to a CPAP to help him breath. In this picture the doctor is inserting 2 lines through Jaxon's belly button, the lines are used to give Jaxon meds and to take out blood when needed.

This is Jaxon's very first outfit. As you can see it didn't fit him at all. It's a newborn onsie and Jaxon didn't even fit into premie clothes. It's an outfit that once belonged to Kaden.

Jaxon was always being poked for a new IV. He would get a new one about every 12 hours or so. The nurses would wrap his IV's to help keep em in longer. The tube up Jaxon's nose is the tube he was fed through.

Jaxon was such a trooper through everything. This is our "TOUCH DOWN" picture. It just makes us smile.

This is by far my favorite picture ever. Jake named it " Momma will watch after you."

This is right after Jaxon developed a fever and his leg was swelling up. The swelling was caused by a PICC line that was inserted into his leg. His meds where being given through the PICC line. They had to take out the line and continue on with a new IV every 12 hours. Thus this is one of the days we realized that we where going to be at the hospital for awhile.

Jaxon always posing for us. He was sitting on my lap and talking with me in this picture.

We had to do a car seat trial before they let us bring him home. This was done a month before we brought him home but as you can see, he didn't fit into his car seat.

These pictures are of the first time EVER, that Jake and I held Jaxon. Most of the nurses wouldn't let us hold him because of all the tubes and wires. But Miss Nancy Roof wasn't about to let another day go by that I didn't get to hold my baby. She's is a very kind and loving nurse!

The left is Jaxon getting all comfy while the nurse did "cares" which is taking his temp, changing his diaper, switching the cuff on his foot to either his other foot or a hand, etc.

The picture on the right is of a nurse feeding Jaxon through his nose. Don't worry he slept through the whole thing.

Momma and Jaxon having a heart to heart conversation. I was explaining to him that he needed to get better so that he could come home and meet Kaden and Lucy. The smile makes me think he that he thought that was a good idea.

They used to wrap Jaxon up so tight. I am not sure how he would breath. The nurses were fantastic at making him "as snug as a bug in a rug!"

This is the same outfit as before only now it actually fits!

This is one of the first pictures of Jaxon at Primary Children's Medical Center. The cover on the right side of his chest is from when the doctor used a needle to release the air surrounding Jaxon's lung. He is also on the ventilator in this picture.

YEAH! This is on our way out the door, NEVER to return! Although we must say.. We have made some wonderful friends and we are very thankful for the Doctors and Nurses who took care of our precious Jaxon.

Kaden and Lucy FINALLY getting to enjoy their baby brother.

AND this is the Walk for Healing Hearts that we did through Intermountain Healing Hearts. A support group that we will continue to support for as long as we are able to.

Our family is now home and happy together and we very much plan on staying that way.

Trick or Treat...Smell my Feet, give me someting good to eat!

These last few days have been hard for me. With Jake having been gone for over a week now that leaves me to be a single momma until he returns.
Don't get me wrong, as I have said before I am Eternally thankful for my beautiful babes, But there are sometimes I wish I could check out. Infact I have noticed that I tend to do so, When we were living in our own place no one was there to pick up the slack. Now that we are living at my mom's house, she picks up the slack without even being asked.

HOMEWORK IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME....this is what I am talking about! I am checking out while doing homework with Kaden. Mostly because I get so frustrated. WHY is it so hard to do your homework? Kaden is very good at math and is failing reading and writing. So if he has a math page to do, why does he stare around the house, ask me a million questions not related to the homework, get up to go potty about 3-4 times etc....

I have asked the STUPID school to help me out and have Kaden tested for dislexia, I honestly think he has a form of it. I have gone in and talked with his teacher ( I even took my Elementary Princepal of a Mother in Law in with me ) and still NO HELP!
I shouldn't be surprised. My older brother's kids went to Westridge for awhile and his oldest was held back in the 3rd grade because they wouldn't help him either. When he swtiched his kids to another school... What a change it made. His son got completley caught up to the level he should be on (mind you he is still a grade behind now) and is now in 7th grade and making A's.

I now feel like I need to become more aggresive and I really don't want to do that. I am already volunteering on a weekly basis and trying to help out Kaden's teacher when ever and where ever I can. All he seems to do is make excuses for why he doesn't have time for anything and how he stays at school everyday until 10pm. I am aware of what it takes to be a teacher, I know plenty of them!  ARRRGGG....

On to something better.....HALLOWEEN!!!

Only the BESTEST holiday ever.... We went over to Grandpa Kirk's and Grandma Linda's house where Jeff, Evie and Izzy B met up with us. We started out the night with Jeff and Grandpa giving the kids and I blessings. We really needed them! Lately I feel myself slipping away and I don't like that. I need to get my family back on track! That is a whole other post in itself.

We then went around their block for a bit....Skipping and singing and dancing all the way... well most of us anyways. Kaden for some reason has been having tummy aches and crappy enough he got one on Halloween. He fell asleep sitting up at Grandpa's house, it was quite cute. But I felt for the poor kid. I asked him if he really wanted to go Trick or Treating and to my surprize he wanted to go.

Little Bella was Goldie Locks and man she sang the whole time we where out.. The kid has always had a set of lungs but now it's not so much of a shriek as it is a tune. Sometimes it's hard to make out the words she is singing but if you know the tune it's quite funny to listen to her try to say the words.

Lucy was a Pumpkin Witch and Jaxon was her Pumpkin.... She had so much fun! I am sure she is going to be my Trick or Treat partner from now on. I can see us now going trick or treating when she is 18.... She ran and ran and ran. She even managed to get blisters on her poor feet. But that didn't slow her down and she never once complained! Now that is a die hard trick or treater!!

Kaden went as Robin and Uncle Harley was Batman. So we had our Caped Crusaders with us to watch over and protect us from all the wicked Wtches and Goblins and Ghosts! He tried very hard to have fun and I think he did. He was a little slow going at first but quickly regained his energy and I think got a second wind.

Afterwards we went back to my Mom's house and went Trick or Treating again around my old neighborhood. This time we had Deagan, Alyssa, Sierra ( Alyssa's friend ) Zach, Jathen and Austin to go with us. I am pretty sure I will never again take all the kids trick or treating by myself.

The kids got a load of candy.... Good thing momma gets to have first pick! Hey I have to take taxes out first.... They need to learn now that you can't skip out on taxes or it will haunt you in the end!!

Now onto a month where we give our many thanks!

Little Joys in LIFE~

I was reading a friends (Morgan) blog yesturday and realized that I have many things in life to be greatful for! Since I have been known to rant and rave quite a bit, I decided that I would post a few things that I am greatful for.

~ MY KIDS~ I am greatful that I have 3 beautiful and smart kids. They each love me in their own ways and do so even when I am grumpy (most days) and yell at them.

I am greatful that I have the chance to be a mother to Jaxon! I get to love my baby in person and for that I am eternally thankful to my Heavenly Father! For many reasons Jaxon shouldn't be alive but due to the medical miracles we have surrounding us... He is alive and happy at that.

I am greatful for Lucy! She is my test, my trial, my patience pusher etc....
I love her smile and how she can say anything with such confidence behind it even if she has NO idea of what she is actually saying. I love giving her hugs and kisses and making her giggle when I tell her "I lubba you!"

I am greatful for Kaden! He is my tender hearted boy. I am thankful for his spirit. He is always reminding me to be happy and telling me that I am a good momma. I need him in my life. He makes my days brighter. He is my cuddle bug.

~ MY MOMMA~ I am greatful for my Momma! She bugs the crap out of me and constantly tells me what, when, how and why to do things. But with out her I wouldn't be the person I am today. She loves me, loves me no matter what! Momma stands behind my every decision and does so with love and a tender heart. Even when she knows that I am to fail, she is always there waiting with an open shoulder for me to cry on. I love you Momma!

~ MY BED~ I am thankful that I have a bed to sleep in! Even if I am not sleeping in currently ( it's in storage right now ) but because I am not sleeping in it, I am that much more thankful for it. I love having a bed that is big enough my family of 5 can all be in it at the same time and no one is crowded out.

~THE CHURCH~ I hated going to church for many years! I didn't ever have an excuse worthy of saying but I sure used many of them as to why I wasn't going to go. NOW I am so thankful for the church and the knowledge that I am gaining from going. For the friendships that I am gaining and the Lifestyle change I have made. I am greatful for the Emotions that come with seeing my kids singing songs that make your heart melt,and for hearing the testimonys of  others. I look forward to going each sunday and I like that feeling.

~ FOOD~ I am ever so greatful to enjoy food as much as I do and not weigh 500lbs! I am also thankful to be able to manipulate and use food as a way to vent my emotions.  

~ MY HUBBY~ I am thankful to have a man in my life. A man who is learning and growing up with me. I am thankful that my husband is a smart man who appreciates life and all that it has to offer. I am greatful for this man because he loves me and tells me so everyday. Jake is a man of many faces and most make me smile or giggle. I have very spiritual husband and I love that. He shows his emotions proudly. He has vowed to make his family his number 1 priority and exausts himself trying. Even though there aren't many people who understand Jake and his different ways... I do and I am proud/happy to call him mine!

There are many things/ reasons in my life that I am happy and greatful for. It would take to long to list them all. But for now you can atleast see that I don't always rant, that there is good in my life and that I am aware of it. What are you GREATFUL FOR?

A hop, a skip, a jump and oh no....

So it has been a month since I last wrote anything, go figure! October has been a pretty fun month for our family. After all it is my favorite time of the year and my favorite holiday etc..
The families got together this month over at Matt's house to decorate Haunted Houses. IT was a blast! I made little houses out of  grahm crackers for all the kids and we bought ooey, gooey, sticky candy and scary candy to decorate them with.

The fun didn't end there.Lucy was messing around in the bathroom and fell from the toilet. She hit her head pretty hard on the counter and gave herself a nice size goose bump.  Saturday night Lucy kept complaining of a tummy ache. Since there isn't much you can do for a tummy ache I simply told her to just lay down and to get settled in for bed. About 30 mins later I was holding her hair back as she puked.

GREAT! I absolutley LOVE, LOVE, LOVE having sick kids especially when I now have a child that I have to do everything in my power to keep from getting sick as to prevent an earlier heart surgery.
So when middle of the night came and I look over at Kaden puking over the side of his bed, my heart dropped and all I could think of is " My whole family is gonna have the swine flu and Jaxon's going to end up in the hospital again."

We managed to make it through the night to wake up the next day to Grandma Jeanne puking her guts out.
What the??? Where is this coming from? I swear if I could see the little bugger that got us all sick, I would squash it out of spite.
So to end the Flu bug.... Zac, Myself, Matt, and Kyle all got sick as well. Not sure if we were all sick with same thing but sick none the less.

TODAY:

Today is the day that Jake and I are going to do a walk through of the the Arts Intstitute in Draper. We are highly considering going through Culinary Classes. Jake would be more on the cooking side and I want to do the Pastry Arts.

Jake and I have always cooked together. It's something I take great pride in, not many couples can cook together without getting into eachothers way.
For me personally, I use cooking as a method of getting my emotions out. If I am frustrated or sad I cook what I consider to be my comfort foods such as Chocolate cake or Dirt Dessert or a Homemade Mac n Cheese.
If I am excited you could expect something more like Cheesecake or cookies or maybe  BBQ chicken with salad. I love to express my feelings through cooking and I love even more when I am able to share my concauctions with others and they love it as much as I do.
Jake and I aren't 100% sure what we will end up doing afterwards but for now it is something that we both desire to do.

I am a huge believer in the saying " There is a reason for everything! "

I believe that something good will come from Jake and I going to school together. Maybe it's meant to bring us even closer together as a couple or maybe we are to learn something that at this time I couldn't imagine.
Either way it's our next adventure and we are more then excited to start it.

CONSIDER THIS YOUR INVITATION! Someday we would love to have our friends and family over for a fine feast and fancy dessert. Something we hope to impress you with. We will let you know when the time comes but for now I hope your mouths are salivating at the thought of what we might cook!
Any suggestions?

Oh the joys of mother hood...

I guess writing every couple of days isn't so bad?!? I must admit that I am a terrible writer! I have no journalistic abilities in my body, not one bone!

To catch you all up:

Saturday we had a YARD SALE! We posted and add on KSL.com and put Flyer's up on the corners of Geneva Rd. We set David and Nancy's yard up and started selling our little hearts out.
It was actually a pretty good day, it wasn't too hot and we had plenty of shade ( that we didn't use ).
The highlights of the sale were when the table filled with all of mom's glass dishes and what nots tipped over and broke. I watched it tip and man it was going in slow motion. Crazy that I didn't run over and try to catch it. Whoops!
The best of the best part of the day was when this couple came to look around and I was sitting at my station manning the money box... Okay so here is their conversation:

Man looking at the table filled with Kitchen items, picks up an old juicer and asks " could I plug this in to make sure that it's still in working condition? "

Me: " of course, there is a plug right here that you could use."

Man: "thanks, it's working. " " that's fabulous, I'll take it."

Woman : " What the hell do you want a juicer for? " " You don't even eat fruits and Vegetables! "

Man: " I need to start. " " I am going to use it to help me drop a few pounds! "

Woman: " Ya, what are you going to do? Stick a burrito in it? "

Me: trying really hard not to laugh hysterically at the woman's comment. You see this couple both overweight by at minimum 100lbs and short at that. It was seriously like a miniature Jerry Springer show. I just wish that I had a tub of popcorn and the rest of my family watching them with me.
But in all seriousness the Man was a good sport. He did in fact buy the juicer and I tried to encourage him with my Father in Laws story of weight loss. WAY TO GO OLD MAN!

Then on Sunday we took it pretty easy! I think after a long day in the sun on Saturday we were all drained and tired.
I did manage to get the kids up and ready for church, a feat that I consider amazing since we got there on time and I did it mostly by myself. I did have a little help from my momma...She is a GREAT baby watcher!
For dinner on Sunday I tasked myself the goal of BBQing on my husbands BBQ. I have only used this thing twice now and once of which I almost set my house on fire!!!
I made a Delicious Teryiaki BBQ Chicken and in the oven I made a FREAKING FANTASTIC Zucchini and Tomato casserole.

Monday was depressing! I missed watching Heros and House season premiers! AND I tore apart my bedroom to organize it a little better.

THIS Morning I woke up to a bed filled with pee! Oh the joys of mother hood. I swear without fail EVERYtime I change the bed and put fresh clean sheets on...someone has to pee in it. I am not sure if I slept through it due it sheer exhaustion or from being pinned in between Lucy and Jaxon and not being able to get out of the bed. So to start off my day...Kid to school and washing the beds again for the second time in 2 days!

Grumble, Grumble, Grrrrr.....

Today I am going to rant and rave and maybe throw a little rage in there.....

To start, my little girl really is turning out to be a brat and I am unsure of how to counter act this attitude that she has. Most people say that she got it from me and to those people ( most of whom are older and haven't been around much. ) You don't know me. You haven't been around my whole life to know anything about me. You mostly know only the hear say from other people.
So Lucy has become Miss Independent. I am okay with that! It's the hitting and screaming when she doesn't get her way and the un-willingness to do anything I want her to do. AND that she just doesn't understand that she can't be crazy with Jaxon. She tries so hard to help me out, and I am trying to let her but she has got to run out of energy at some point and calm down.

Low points of my day with Lucy:
- Bedtime
- Potty Training
- Eating real food and not junk food
- Torturing Jaxon by smothering him with all her glorious Lucy-ness!
She is very good at kisses and hugs though. Just thought I would add that in!

So today we went to Grandma Linda's school and got our pictures taken. It's nice to be able to go and have that done and feel like I accomplished something for the day. Kaden, Lucy, Jaxon and myself were all up showered and ready to go by 7:30 am today. For those of you who have 3 or more kids you know how hard it is to get up and get everyone going. Now of course before we are out the door Lucy would just have to puke all over her cute white shirt and Jaxon would have to have a major blow out in his diaper....BUT WE WERE UP AND READY TO GO! and that's my point. So we we all got to have our pictures taken today and I think they will turn out pretty dang cute. We were in Dark blue, grey and white. I hope they will be classy looking. I will try to post them when we get them back in a couple of weeks!

So as I sit here typing I lose all my thoughts on what I want to say. I begin to ramble and then I become side tracked completely and what I end up writing is not what I intended to write in the first place.

Something I learned while Jaxon was in the NICU, is to be Great full for what I have! I have a beautiful baby boy that just by looking at him you would never know that something is wrong with him. He looks like a normal, healthy little boy. I am not sure why God has given me this little boy with this particular problem. All I know is that I love him and I will do my very best to be the best mom that I can be to him. Every once in a while I look back and try to get angry over what happened. For some odd reason I want to pull out the WHY ME? card. I don't think that I ever really had all those Why me? Why Jaxon? Why now? feelings. I have always felt that it is what it is and I can't change so just accept it and let's move on. Jaxon's ordeal has been one of the hardest and most challenging things in my life. I am learning to be a whole new person. I know that the Lord gave me this child for a reason and that I am going through all that I am for a reason ( if anyone knows what it is that I am suppose to be learning... Please help a momma out ) I just wish I knew what it is that he wants me to learn so that I can start working on it and maybe lighten my load a little. It's funny how you have children and being a parent means to raise these kids to be good adults, to teach them values and instill good morals. Yet the whole time you are "raising" your kids in reality they are also "raising" you!
I couldn't ask to be raised by better kids. Through all the tough times, I wouldn't trade em for the world. My tough little Jaxon ( my heartman) My softy Kaden and my Princess Lucy are teaching me to be a better mommy, a better friend and a better person in general.
Thank you to my wonderful babies, I am learning more and more from you each day! Thanks for being such wonderful teachers and for being patient with mommy! I love you all!

NOW, Does someone have a school for my Husband?

Oh what a day....Late one evening....

Okay so this last weekend wasn't very eventful for our little family. On Sunday we took our kids over to see Grandpa Kirk and Grandma Linda and had dinner there as well.
When Jake and I first got together and through the first years of our marriage we went to the Anderson's house (either Kirk and Linda's or Grandma Barbara and Grandpa Gail's ) dang near almost every Sunday. Not to mention that if it was someones birthday during that month then you went for a Sunday/birthday dinner and when you have a pretty decent sized family then you are always going to dinner.
Well since we moved to Herriman and now back to Provo, we haven't gone over for Sunday dinners like we used to. You can feel the disconnection of family when you get back together, it's like you have a million things to talk about cause you haven't seen anyone for quite a while but at the same time you just sit there and watch the kids ( or kids playing the Wii in our case ) and every once in a while you through in a joke or a comment.
It seems like every time I get together with family no matter which side, the kids have grown a foot or two and are changing in every little way. Now since I don't see them all that often I notice the small changes where as to the parents they are normal and don't seem that odd.
Why is it that when you live in the same state and in many cases the same city you are too busy to make time for your family? We are told all the time that family is the most important thing that we can have and that we should cherish it. Well then why are we wasting our time doing meaning less things and not savoring every moment that we have with our family.
I want my family to know that I love them, even though I am guilty of this myself! I want to be better at turning the TV off and playing with my kids and going to the park, going to movies as a family. Better yet at remembering to have Family Home Evening each week and not putting it off for something else that is less meaningful to my children.
Anyways that was my Sunday....

Monday however was a whole other story. As usual I get up to my alarm clock and get things together for Kaden to get up and get ready for school. For those who know Kaden, you know how big he is compared to me. Well each morning when I wake him up I pull the covers off and twist his legs around off the bed and pull his body up so that he is in a sitting position and then I give him a hug as I send him off to the shower. SO THIS MORNING, I am doing the usual only when Kaden is in the sitting position he turns his head towards me and starts yelling " MOM, I can't open my eyes. Someone glued them together and I can't see! "
This isn't exactly how I wanted to spend the day, but I am a mother and it's what I do.
So I tell him to get in the shower and to wash his face off with a warm wash cloth ( Mistake #1 )
I call the doctor and make him an appointment to be seen at 10:30 and then I call him in sick to school ( Mistake #2 ).
Jake hasn't been feeling all the well so I make him an appointment as well and send them off to find out whats wrong with them ( as if someone could actually diagnose what's really wrong with them in just an hour! :)
Kaden comes home with eye drops but the doctor said that because he had cleaned his eyes out so very well in the shower that the only thing he could see was that they where red. Do you see how I shouldn't have had him clean them out so well? Well then he comes home and continues to torture his little sister and in some cases she tortured him all day long when he could have spent the rest of the day at school, this is where mistake #2 comes in.
Oh the Joys of being a mother!?!?

And finally to end the day, my significant other ditches me for California with his little brother.
They are going out there to work for a bit, it's good on one hand and yet frustrating on the other.
So here I am with 3 kids, one with pink eye... one that is a diva/demon child and one that requires more of me then I have to give sometimes, all by myself.

Tuesday, Today was a fairly routine day. We got up and got Kaden off to school as normal. No tears this morning which is good, although he did have watery eyes from his eye drops.
Lucy and I spent the day cleaning the living room and entertaining Jaxon as much as possible.
Has anyone ever tried really hard to entertain a 3 month old? Lucy is the queen of trying. I must admit for all the times that she does try she gets the persistence award! I think that after 10 times and not getting the smile or cooing that I wanted I would give up. But little Jaxon is a trooper, he puts up with all the arm pining, Binky stuffing, slobbery kisses, leg pulling, in your face talking and attempts to be the momma that Lucy condemns him too.

Now to do homework...WHAT? Homework, is this for me or for the kid? I swear, now days kids come home with homework that the parents end up doing or being utterly confused by and not to mention all the fundraisers.
Whose the brilliant genius that thinks its such a great idea to do fundraisers that require the kids to sell something? What about doing a Walk a Thon? We've done these in the past and they are fabulous. The best part about them is that they get the kids out exercising and the school still makes money. OR how about a READ a Thon? This is for school right? We want our children reading right? Why is it that the schools can't come up with something better then to sell wrapping paper or chocolates?

So these are the days of my life...... more rambling and musings of mine to come tomorrow.

Walk for Healing Hearts

Today started off great! Our family went to the Walk for Healing Hearts. It's a simple 1 mile walk around a little park in Provo, UT. There where tons of people there walking for their loved ones that either have CHD or died from CHD ( Congenital Heart Defects ).
It was a little over whelming at first to see all these people there and know that each and everyone of them have been affected by someone who has had problems with their heart. Otherwise they wouldn't have been there. We saw many children with little heart stickers on their shirts to show that they are heart affected babies.
It was great to get to meet other people who are going through or who have gone through the same trials that we are going through. To know that we are not alone and that this doesn't have to be such a terrible and painful ordeal for our family to go through.
From this point on our family is dedicated to being at peace with our situation and making the very best out of it that we can.
They say when you life gives you lemons, make lemonade and that's exactly what we plan to do.
So, today was fun. We had a few family members show up. Some of which surprised me. Showing their support for Jaxon was:
Uncle David, Aunt Nancy and Family and dog
Grandpa Kirk and Grandma Linda
Grandma Jeanne

We all walked around ( some ran ) and had a grand ole time. At the end they had a small ceremony where they introduced the families that have lost loved ones young and old and then released butterflies up to heaven to give kisses to their lost angels.

We also took a moment of silence for those are currently at Primary Children's Hospital struggling to survive. Speaking of there where a few of the nurses from Primary Children's at the walk. It was nice to see them in a different setting other then at the hospital.
After all that was done we gathered around and they drew names for various prizes.

I highly encourage any of my friends and family to join that have a child who is dealing with CHD. I really believe that this group is going to be very supportive and uplifting for my family as well as for Jaxon. He might not understand now, but when he is old enough he will enjoy knowing that there are others out there with his same problem!

As for the rest of our day we are simply going to be lazy! This was Jaxon's first real adventure outside of the house and even though he didn't do anything besides sleep in his stroller, he is completely tuckered out and has been asleep since we got home.
I don't think I ever thought about what kind of things will be stressful to him that us is the everyday normal things.
Maybe a movie or something light that won't cause us to work any harder then we have too.
Hey it's the end of summer, no need to do anything stressful or crazy.

So since I last blogged a ton has happened. First of all, Jake and I have moved out of our home in Herriman, UT. We have moved back into my mom's house in Provo.
That was in the end of May. 2 weeks after we moved in I went into Labor with my 3rd baby. He came a little early. I was 35 weeks and 6 days along. Jaxon was born with a heart defect known as Epsteins Anomoly with severe Pulmonary Stenosis. He was in the hospital for 45 days and I promise I counted every last day that he was there. I would say that those days where the worst days of my life... But how could I say such a horrible thing when every day I got to see my beautiful boy, I get to hold him in my arms and tell him that I love him. For that I will always be thankful for him. So as of the 10th of September Jaxon is 3 mos old.
I wanted to share some of my thoughts/days from Jaxon's journal as we went through his Primary Children's Hospital adventure.

~ Friday June 12th,
You are 2 days old today, and you have been so good. Your poor little heart is beating as hard and strong as it can which can be a good thing. But in your case is making you weak and tired. Today we were taking you off the ventilators and putting you on c-pap but you had other plans. sometime around 11am you stopped breathing. I cried, my heart sank when the nurses explained what was happening and why. So for Now, back on the ventilators you go!

~ Sunday June 14th,
Today dear Jaxon boy you are going to have a blessing. It's the day where we are giving you a name and a blessing. You are the first in the family that daddy gets to bless and boy is he nervous. You look so precious. I am not sure why I have been so blessed to have you apart of my life. You opened up your little peepers today and looked up at me with such sad eyes, you made my heart melt into a million pieces. You are such a special gift and I can't wait to take you home and hold you in my arms. I know that you are safe and well taken care of here and that helps me to feel calm about going home.

~ Tuesday June 16th,
The nerves we feel today are almost unbearable. Daddy gave you a blessing before heading down to the cath lab. They are going to balloon your pulmonary valve open to help release some of the pressure. Never in my life have I cried so hard. I am not sure if the blessing was more for mom and dad's piece of mind or for your well being. I think a little of both. While you were in the cath lab, mom and dad sat outside of the hospital on the benches and sobbed. We listened to your theme song ( three little birds by Bob Marley ) over and over again. You are one tough little guy! We will wait for you and with you back at your bedside.

Those are just a few excerpts from Jaxon's journal. I am not very good at writing my feelings down so I hope that you all can understand even in the slightest how I felt watching my baby being poked and tested on a daily basis.

Jaxon is now home and has been for over a month. He is being picked on still but at least it's now by his big sister wanting to hug and kiss him every hour. Kaden and Lucy are starting to recover from Mom and Dad having been gone so much. I think we are almost back to a normal routine.

KADEN, is now in the 2nd grade and already hating school. I can't believe how big he is and that he's really my kid. Am I old enough to have a 7 yr old? Cause I don't feel like I am! Kaden is trying to come into his own and figure out what he likes to do. Right now he loves to ride his bike and he likes to play Nintendo games. He loves swimming. We are thinking of putting him into wrestling and maybe basketball.

LUCY, is a typical 2 yr old who is making mommy's life miserable! She refuses to potty train and just laughs at us when we are frustrated with her over changing a poopy diaper. She is very girly and loves to get into mom's make-up.
Right now her favorite thing in the world is PINK-milk or strawberry milk.

JAXON, is as happy and healthy as an acid reflux, heart defected baby can be! He wakes up happy in the morning and ready to play and then cries all night long. He loves to eat and would probably eat all day long if mommy let him. He is almost 14lbs and growing.
Jaxon is off the oxygen but still requires his heart monitor for now. Someday soon we will be free of all monitors and machines! We find out in Dec. what our next step is!

THE NEXT BIG THING WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TOO... is the walk for Healing Hearts.
www.intermountainhealinghearts.org
We are looking forward to meeting other people with Jaxon's same problem and to add to our healing process. It has been a long road and we are very thankful to be over our first hump.
We hope to see any family and friends there! It's only a mile, a short distance compared to what many have gone through with their "Heart" Adventures!

I am so blessed! I have 3 BEAUTIFUL kids.... My hazel eyed babies! I love them all. My world is more complete with them in it. I live everyday for them and I try to be the best mom that I can be. They continue to test me and I hope that I am meeting their expectations of me.

Today I leave you all with a thought!

WHEN LIFE GETS TO HARD TO STAND...KNEEL! Our Prayers are with you all!

This is my first time ever using a blog to keep you all updated. I think I am going to like it, but please be patient with me! I am so not computer savvy and I have absolutely no idea how to do all the fun and cute things everyone else does.
So I am really hoping that this will help to keep family and friends updated on our little family. We are so greatful for the friends that we have made and hope that we don't lose touch with anyone of them over what we wish to be a long life.
If you know of anyone that would like to check out our blog, send me their info and I will make sure to add them so they can view our crazy castle of chaos too. Thanks to all!